Being a New Mom Is A Lot Like Dating

You had a baby! So many causes for celebration—like the fact that you are a rock star and you made a life! A life. Yup. Your body created another tiny individual and the only downside was, you know, stretch marks, sleepless nights, and the whole dating thing.

Wait, what’s that you ask? How is having a baby like dating? You couldn’t think of more opposing activities? Think again. Here’s how it goes in 6 steps:

THE BUILD-UP

You are told vital details like weight and height, perhaps sex (although not sexual inclination), and inevitably the expectations and anxiety about meeting this mysterious person start to build.

PREPARATION IS KEY 

With so many unknowns, pre-(due)date planning becomes essential. You might exercise beforehand to feel in top form, or maybe take some breath work classes to stay zen when things get crazy and you need to concentrate on notstranglingsomeone. Your person might show up early or take their time making an appearance. They will most likely keep you guessing in the moments leading up to your introduction. And from this excitement mixed with discomfort, a lot of emotions spill forth…

STORIES IN THE MAKING

Everyone wants to know all about this new person in your life. You go on double (play) dates and share photos of this special being with your family. In your single days, the worst dates made the best anecdotes. Turns out, the same thing rings true for pregnancy, birth, and a baby! Your labor, the six sleepless nights in a row—these things eventually make funny stories.

GOING EXCLUSIVE

Remember when you started dating that person you couldn’t get enough of, and you disappeared from the world to spend all your time with them? Then you decided you didn’t want/need to see other people. Well, a baby makes that choice for you. In other words, you are theirs exclusively. If siblings exist, there is wiggle room for seeing them on the side. But not much.

LOVE AT SECOND SIGHT

It may take a while. (Don’t listen to those who say they were “over the moon and back” in milliseconds—instant love doesn’t happen to us all.) But love does grow and grow and grow, until you look at your person and wonder how your life could have existed without them. Part of raising a child is getting to know another human at their best and their worst. No matter how hard you try to put on your best face, they will eventually see you frazzled—and still love you.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS SEALED

After dating—cough, having a baby—you decide, or rather, the universe has decided for you—that this is it, this will be the longest, strongest, most wonderful and most difficult, love-filled relationship you will ever have. Enjoy!